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Defense Mechanisms Examples: How to Not be Defensive
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Her need was that the garage be cleaned so that they could have some order in their home. Contact or find out more about me at www. Defensiveness is an automatic, emotional reaction to criticism which is hard to resist engaging in in. In fact, Dr. It's an intimacy blocker and the sooner you both own that it takes two, the better. Through self-improvement, counseling, training, or mentoring, explore the causes of your defensive behavior. It is not self-defense. One of the reasons we get so frustrated with defensive people is we try to deal with the behavior without addressing the threat that is causing the behavior. To have harmony you need to be able to listen and share on the topic that has been raised, some couples come to me to practice this in a safe setting first online, so they get into the habit of discussing heated issues calmly after only a few sessions, they find they are able then to do this alone together. If he said those things, I would feel loved and cared about and understood and appreciated.
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